The other was a canine tactical officer with 21 years under his belt. Everything seems slow because you’re so fast.”, “But my legs. Catch up on work emails while you’re still in high-speed mode!”. It was not ready for sleep. This morning they told me the drug I took was a psychoactive substance intended to accelerate brain function. If you’re armed and at the Glenmont metro, please shoot me. The ... Myra explains that Joe became irate and threatened her physically, forcing her to shoot him in self-defense. He still did not release the BB gun. But given the hours of tedium it would take to go get another book off my bookshelf, just sitting on the couch and reading Churchill was better. I opened Moby Dick (slowly) and began reading. I crawled off the escalator, enduring days of stupid expressions on the commuters’ faces. I threw the book across the room in disgust at my situation. The waiting room had little bookshelf with some used hardcovers on it. 1:38 PREVIEW Stunt. Please do not make me shoot you.” Moments later, the officer and his partner opened fire as Udofia collapsed to the ground. But during the predawn incident, the caller said the man appeared to be high on some kind of drug. But Udofia continued to crawl toward the gun. Make it a headshot. It was boring, frankly, waiting for each ball to move through its arc so I could catch it (with my slow-motion hands) and toss it back into the air. I drifted downwards for days, managing to rotate my torso enough to keep my head from impacting the ground first. Shoot me." The officers ordered Udofia to drop the weapon several times but he continued to encroach. This shit worked. I need the bullet to travel the shortest possible distance through my brain before it hits my hippocampus. Then my problem with time got worse. Hours and hours of increasing weight on my turned ankle turned into hours of increasing pain upon increasing pain. Someone who will find the man curled under the bench, the man who crawled down the escalator, and kill him as swiftly as possible. is a Camp Lazlo fanfiction by The Illustrious Crackpot. I have to admit, this part was almost fun. Eighteen minutes since I took the Ambien. I was bounding down the second flight of stairs, moving in slow motion, but still making perceptible progress. A video shared to Twitter shows a large crowd of moms with their hands in the air, singing a lullaby of “hands up, please don’t shoot me” during Monday’s protest: The red-line train roared into the station in slow-motion. But court records show Udofia suffered from mental health problems that contributed to a criminal past. Most of my life experience has been a snapshot of pain huddled on the floor of a subway platform, with an unchanging view of ankles and advertisements. Despite these efforts, I rolled my ankle on the next step. The kids can be seen hitting the ground when they see officers. Sound was already gone, and with my blink, sight was gone as well. Last Friday night, a thug shot a woman twice in a robbery turned nightmare. I was relieved to be home. My brain was going at warp ten. Bodycam video made public Monday, Dec. 14, showed the final moments of former NFL player Ekom Udofia’s life. I slogged back to the couch and collapsed onto it in a slow-motion fall that reminded me of the low-gravity hops of astronauts on the moon. "Please shoot me." “Please drop the gun, dude,” the officer said. Please, please do not make me shoot you. Every thought I can think, I have thought hundreds of times already. I misjudged my rotation and rolled onto my back. Even just moving my eyes to focus on a new point was like an impossibly slow scroll across my visual field. And again. Just shoot me now, please. No, please kill me. I closed my eyes and lay there for hours and hours (10 minutes of reality time) before giving up. "This is the first time I've asked." The pain in my shoulder still screaming with the intensity of a fresh violent injury. This 20th anniversary edition features new photos and an afterword by the authors. 2018 Preview SONG TIME Blue Eyes White Dragon. shoot me 110 GIFs. It wasn’t just the squealing subway train that was three octaves lower than normal. “Please do not shoot me, please, please.” The pain wasn’t at all mitigated by the slowness. That was the message inscribed on the right side of the screen in the opening shot of episode 6 of The Leftovers, titled "Guest. I didn’t even bother locking the door. First gear, clutch in, rev to 4,000 rpms (roughly) and then quickly release clutch and put on break while still giving gas. A slit of light. Shoot me in the temple, aiming slightly downwards. Although there was more to look at on the metro platform than inside the elevator, it was still intensely boring. I came to a stop days later, crumpled onto the ground, staring at the ceiling. I was facing what was going to feel like days, or maybe even weeks of being trapped in a slow-motion prison. I needed a new plan. But your body is still constrained by the laws of biomechanics. I love to capture moments. It felt like I spent four or five hours just descending seven floors, with nothing to look at but the interior of the elevator car. $55,000 DEAR GOD! The caller said he saw Udofia in a convenience store two hours prior and he was behaving normally. Then four. The escalator spilled the rush-hour crowd onto the platform at the same speed a glacier spills ice into the sea. It was just the first volley of shots. My long-shot. Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance. “Come on, don’t make me shoot you again. A celebrity comes to Camp Kidney, and she so happens to be the girl who inspired Edward's beloved doll Veronica and even has her name. Then I basically sprint-danced the rest of the way, twisting and juking between people on the sidewalk and dodging moving cars with inches (a.k.a. Despite turning the pages so quickly that I tore many of them, it seemed like most of the time I spent finishing the book was spent on page turning and not actually reading. The Phoenix Police Department released bodycam from all four officers involved, security camera footage from an adjacent parking lot, along with details about the shooting and a 911 call that prompted police to respond. Even if the drug cleared out of my system in the next two or three hours, this nightmare would seem to last centuries. "Since when were you suicidal Dame-Tsuna?" I dipped into my pile of yet-to-be-read books and finished two more. But in my drug-accelerated hyper-time, it felt like days. The train status sign said the next train wouldn’t arrive for twenty minutes. Contribute to Atlanta Black Star today and help us share our narratives. I had no problem keeping six balls in the air because they seemed to be moving so slowly. As awful as this sounds, you’ll be doing me an enormous favor. I had read all three magazines in eight minutes. It was just my perception of time that had gone wackadoo. is an American sitcom television series that aired on NBC from March 4, 1997, to November 26, 2003, with a total of 148 half-hour episodes spanning seven seasons. “Which will seem like days to you. We publish narratives intentionally and specifically to enlighten and transform the world. Do you have one with hub caps and no radio please? They dropped a handful of coins and I counted the total value before they hit the ground. My ordeal started over ten thousand years ago, at 10:15 this morning. It fully hit me while I was curled up by the bench. Weeks. Please do not make me shoot you.”. Hours (seemingly) to load each new page, and a fraction of a second to read it. The show was created by Steven Levitan, the show's executive producer. Voices were gone, shifted below the threshold frequency of my hearing. Or at least less worse. The dull roar of the street and metro noise ceased, replaced by the most perfect silence I’ve ever experienced. “But your brain is running so much faster right now, that even your fast walk seems very slow to you.”. Then they sent me home. Search, discover and share your favorite Shoot Me GIFs. Report image. 71-Year-Old Black Man Sues South Carolina PD, Alleging He Was Forced to Stand Naked Outside and Held at Gunpoint While Cops Sought Teenage Suspects, San Francisco Mayor Calls Gov. Am I … They sung to me in languages that never existed. They gave me a pill at 10:15 and told me to hang out in the waiting room until they called me back for some tests. Savannah is heard sobbing as she is face down on the floor, hands behind her head. It would have taken too long. He was described by friends as a “gentle giant” with a kind heart and a “glowing smile,” according to ABC 15. My downwards motion seemed to completely freeze. I’m a so-called “healthy subject” who takes experimental drugs to help assess side effects. The ifrst dealer I went into. The Nov. 30 incident took place about 2 a.m. near the intersection of Indian School Road and 23rd Avenue. I crawled through the metro tunnel. Hard. Then on to the second flight of stairs. The show is set at the office of fictional fashion magazine Blush, comparable to the real-life Vogue. If you’re armed and at the Glenmont metro, please shoot me. I looked out over the crowded platform during my interminable downward ride. Not exactly a light read. Then I did it all again. If I’m lucky, the sensation of the gunshot ripping through my skull will only last a few decades. Whether you’re graduating school, getting engaged, throwing a wedding, celebrating a growing family, I want your personality to shine through your pictures. Udofia refused to drop his weapon even after being wounded. Weeks of effort were finally rewarded with success – I stabilized on my hands and knees. Iggy Pop, Danny Fields, Dee Dee and Joey Ramone, Malcom McLaren, Jim Carroll, and scores of other famous and infamous punk figures lend their voices to this definitive account of that outrageous, explosive era. Forty-five minutes maybe. the whole week-end with your parents? In other words, none of the drugs I’ve tested have given me a killer buzz, or mellowed me out, or anything. The huge disconnect between my body and mind made it extremely difficult to judge how and when to slow down, turn, or rotate my body. An internal police department investigation is underway. I should have stolen that copy of Moby Dick. But when those non-lethal methods failed, officers shot Udofia several more times. A few times it’s been something for blood pressure or cholesterol. Today’s drug was different. Five shots rang out and Udofia fell to the ground, groaning in pain. My hyper-accelerated mind wasted no time compensating for the lack of sensory input. Oh And It’s Header Day! My eyes opened with geologic slowness. Try to use the residual effects to get some work done. Police used 26 pepper ball shots to subdue him then sent a canine in to drag him away from the gun. He played on several NFL practice squads and had brief stints with the Cincinnati Bengals and New Orleans Saints. Sprinting down the street, dancing and weaving between pedestrians with, what must have looked to them, superhuman dexterity. Then six. I scanned the old books on the shelf and picked out a copy of Moby Dick. The massive slowdown on the stairs was just the beginning of the interaction between the experimental drug and the Ambien. I inhaled – a hours long process. Even if my muscles had slowed down, my body would still react to gravity the same way. I tried surfing the Internet (my GOD it takes a long time for computers to boot these days) but it was too frustratingly slow. As accelerated as my brain was, I couldn’t do anything to make my legs work faster. A hundred articles in my news feed read and just three more minutes done. Before the Ambien kicked in, my perception of time was maybe a few hundred times slower than real-time. I recalled my whole life, and imagined living another. I turned on the television – I clearly saw each frame of video like I was watching a slideshow. Please, please do not make me shoot you. Down the first flight of stairs at the metro. A project that spanned decades. Police used stun bags and baton rounds and pepper balls to subdue him. I never became nose-blind to the body odor, the stench of the train’s brakes, and mélange of farts and other smells wafting through the metro car. Share kindness, support and compassion, not criticism. I’ve lived hundreds of lifespans at the foot of this bench. I blinked. I decided to try to sleep off the remaining effects of the drug. At first the impact wasn’t even noticeable. If You’re Armed and at the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me, My Father Punished Me When I Talked to Ghosts. I was given general instructions. I became God. I am far older, in spirit, than any human who has ever lived. Reminder to all: watch out for a creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 instant downvotes. The book slowly pirouetted and spun through the air, like a leaf blowing in a breeze. The Ambien didn’t make me sleepy. So I crawled. Time passed. I would somehow get to the platform and throw myself in front of a train. Please Shoot Me. Maybe they would have something that could counteract its effects. (Just) shoot me: Expression of dismay, where the speaker is expressing, metaphorically, his/her wish to die because events (for him/her) are so bad. Even though my body moved at, what seemed to me, super-slow speed, I could still carefully choose how and where to place my feet, swing my arms, and turn my torso. Shiloh Dynasty] 2. I earn extra money by participating in drug trials. Two backup officers showed up minutes later and tried to get the BB gun away from Udofia. I had plenty of time to think during that fall. The police department did not release the names of the four officers involved. View a slide show projected at ten images per second and answer detailed questions about what I saw (95% correct). “Actually, it’s the other way around. lift kit, nice big shoes, knobies, bed cover. Nevertheless, I tried to sleep. Then I read an old Scientific American. What are my options? Sleep would not come. Every second seemed like days to me. They hadn’t called me back when I finished the Psychology Today so I picked up a US News and read it cover-to-cover. A Time Out and Daily News Top Ten Book of the Year upon its initial release, Please Kill Me is the first oral history of the most nihilist of all pop movements. Frankly, I hated it. “It’ll wear off in a few hours,” they said. I need the bullet to travel the shortest possible distance through my brain before it hits my hippocampus. It only took a block or two to getting used to having a brain that ran two dozen times faster than my body. The laws of physics were the same. I imagined a new universe and brought it to life with my thoughts. They made me juggle three balls. I spent what seemed like days on that fucking red-line train. If every second seemed like days to me, then each minute of real-world time would be like years. The boredom is so intense it’s tangible – like a solid object of metal and stone wedged into my skull. Impossibly worse. Even though I could see the wall coming at me, I couldn’t make my finger, outstretched to hit the elevator button, move away fast enough and I jammed it against the wall. Twenty minutes was like a year to me. All sound was slowed to the point of near inaudibility. What I Do. Then I felt a slight pressure in my shoulder as it came in contact with the ground. 2:58 PREVIEW Hold Onto Me (Eternally) [feat. About six minutes after the initial gunshots were fired, officers fires bean bag rounds and rubber bullets at Udofia. I crawled a few feet to a concrete bench and curled up next to it, trying to find a position to lessen the pain in my shoulder. Sign up to receive The Atlanta Black Star Newsletter in your inbox. Back at the research offices, I could still hear and communicate with the research staff. Solve an intricate maze drawn onto a poster-sized paper (two seconds). Just Shoot Me! Credit: Peter Frost David (Wattpad • Twitter • Amazon • Reddit). Endless tedium waiting the six minutes for the red-line train to arrive. I commanded my foot forwards for hours, then backwards for hours more when it seemed like I would miss the next step. 1. Sort: Relevant Newest # nbc # season 6 # episode 6 # the office # michael # kill me # shoot me # funny # comedy # dead # cbc # schitts creek # shoot me # shoot me # fml # fuck my life # shoot me “Please! I extracted my phone from my pocket. It hit the wall with a long, faint rumble – the only sound I had head for what seemed like hours – then drifted to the floor like a flip-flop sinking in a swimming pool. Moments later, Udofia could be seen on video raising up off the ground and pointing the toy gun at officers. I did manage to hear a screaming baby on my subway car – her shrieks slowed to sound like whale songs. Please shoot me now - Robert Downey Jr rolls eyes. Meme Generator No items found. Your brain is running ten or twenty times faster than normal. “Please do not make me shoot you,” one of the cops says in the video before ultimately discharging his weapon. Down the stairs (it’s faster than the elevator if you run), through the lobby, out the front door and onto the street. The cognitive tests were less fun, but very illuminating. chirped Squirrel Scout Denmother Jane Doe into her pastel pink telephone, twisting the cord around her fingers as she spoke. It was not immediately clear if mental illness factored into the Nov. 30 incident, but many have speculated online that Udofia was in the midst of a psychological episode. Sprinting through my open door and into the front hall at full speed was like a slow, relaxing drift down a lazy river. Death by a headshot, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, is vastly better than the alternative. By the time I hit the ground, I had a plan. That’s when six more gunshots rang out. A faint glow. I twisted onto my hands and knees. I spoke to God. If my brain had been running at regular speed, it probably only would have hurt for thirty seconds or so. I decided to go back to the offices where they gave me the drug. I exited my apartment as fast as possible – taking hours in my time-frame to do so. My shoulder finally gave out, popping out of its socket with an endless sickening tug. I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes. The shooting is also being reviewed by the Maricopa County Attorney General’s Office. Now, I have done donuts in other cars and trucks before, but never a burn out. I tried again, collapsing onto my face as I tried to figure out how to control a body that moved slower than grass grew. Reminder to commenters: Don't be a grinch! I need the bullet to travel the shortest possible distance through my brain before it hits my hippocampus. (Please shoot me.) The officers noticed he was holding the BB gun when he was about 35 feet away and they took cover behind the doors of the Chevy Tahoe police cruiser. It took a full minute just to stand up off the couch, and another minute to take two steps to the bookcase. Hours of increasing strain on my bent ankle. But in the waiting room, I even fell in slow motion. I flopped onto the waiting room couch and read a few articles from a copy of Psychology Today that was sitting on the coffee table. The gun finally fell out of his grasp. Craig is also on the scene, … The best GIFs are on GIPHY. When I stood up to walk to the bookshelf it felt like my legs barely worked. Sonic energy was spread out over time, diluted until it was imperceptible. Maybe I’ve always ended up the placebo group, but nothing I’ve tested had affected me at all. All that existed was the pain from my fall. Based on how long it took the book to drift to the floor, I estimated the effects of the drug were still intensifying. If I’m lucky, the sensation of the gunshot ripping through my skull will only last a few decades. Three minutes had passed since I got home. "But not the first time Reborn has asked. You are thinking and perceiving reality at an accelerated pace. Days. BAM! A lump that blocked my breathing, moving like a slug down my esophagus. The ride home was horrible. The gun later proved to be a BB gun. Shoot Me Now By Nicole Salazar We’ve all heard someone who has said that phrase, or a phrase similar to it like, “If that happens, I’m just gonna kill myself” or “Kill me now” etc. Or at least something to knock me out until it wore off. Mercedes Fortune, a police department spokesperson. Then, wham – everything stopped. I exhaled for more hours. Please don't shoot me, but I have been trying to do a burn out on this car. I picked up the book I was reading – One Hundred Years of Solitude – and finished it. Phrases like this are just in our everyday conversations, and no one really thinks twice about … My arms. We want OP to feel loved, and not in a tough way. Here arty,arty,arty Free XP!!!! I sluggishly turned my head to look at the wall clock. But with another four or five orders of magnitude of slow-down caused by the Ambien, body control was almost impossible. I spent an hour, in my time frame, descending into the subway and running to the platform. Instead, it must have had a severe cross-reaction with the experimental drug I took this morning. I don’t want to be the latest Midtown crime statistic. How can I even explain the boredom? If I crawl and fall onto the tracks without an oncoming train to crush me, I won’t die. Very cool. ‘Please, do not make me shoot you!’ Video shows fatal police shooting of former Bengals player December 18, 2020 at 6:48 PM EST - Updated December 18 at 6:48 PM Please don't shoot me, but I have been trying to do a burn out on this car. Inescapable. The man was armed with a weapon and refused to relinquish it even after he was shot several times by officers. Sharp sounds like a car horns and trucks bouncing over potholes were low, muddied roars like distant thunder. Pain flowed into my brain undiluted by the change in my perception of time. I sprinted to the metro station. Prok,please shoot me - posted in The Mess Hall: FTLOG!!!!! But now verbal communication with anyone would be impossible. The show's story is centered around several key staff at the magazine, including Jack Gallo, the owner and publisher, his daughter Maya, a writer for the magazine, s… I settled into a profound despair. Unfortunately, whatever part of my mind is responsible for perception, the part that’s been accelerated to hyper speeds by the drug, isn’t the same as the part that governs sleep. This meant I could use the speed things seemed to fall as a way of judging the effects of the drug. But in my accelerated state, the intense pain seemed to last for half an hour. But he continued to hold the BB gun and refused to toss it away, Fortune said. After the Ambien took effect, time moved thousands of times slower. This post is my plan B. Where ordinary voices were frequency-shifted out of my audio range, smells didn’t seem to be affected. I eventually landed on my right shoulder. I read some more. Fragile. A narrow view of the metro platform – ankles of the commuters near me and an advertisement on the opposite wall. One officer could be heard on the video pleading with Udofi to drop the weapon as he approached a police SUV brandishing the toy gun. The elevator ride was horrible. They threw cheerios in the air and I caught them with chopsticks. Handle with care. Please Shoot Me Photography. The pain in my shoulder is nothing compared to the boredom. Listening to the whale-song of the screaming baby and the Tuba solo of the brakes. “How are you feeling?” the research assistant asked me. I actually got bored just waiting for my hand to reach the spine of the book. If I'm In Love PLEASE SHOOT ME! Someone called 911 and reported a “big guy dancing in the middle of the street” and jumping in front of passing cars. For more helpful information please hit up our beautiful rules wiki!. I sprinted out of the office, willing my legs to push me faster. I crawled under the turnstyle and onto the escalator. I’ve spent lifetimes typing and posting this message in the hope that someone will read it and become convinced that my suffering must end. minutes) of clearance. A bullet to the temple. The nerve signals that send pain into the brain must work differently than the nerves in my ear. I’ll experience even more pain from the four-foot fall, but I’ll most likely be rescued by some do-gooder on the platform and unable to act when the train finally does arrive. He later died after being rushed to an area hospital. I forgot English. Drop it.”. Actually, don’t shoot. It had now been thirty-five minutes since I took the Ambien. Iggy Pop, Richard Hell, the Ramones, and scores of other punk figures lend their voices to this decisive account of that explosive era. They were just slow. Years of darkness followed. The view of ankles and advertisements never changes. I read a magazine. They told me I measured over 250 on the Knopf scale. Once it was a kidney drug. I remember thinking this was going to be a long day. “Dude, I got to shoot him, bro,” one of the officers told his partner when Udofia reached the Tahoe’s front bumper. The dumb looks on the faces in the crowd lingered on me for weeks. Even though I was all-but-frozen in mid-step, controlling my muscles was impossible. Someone on this platform right now. Udofia was walking in the middle of the road when the first two officers arrived on scene. I read another. Atlanta Black Star is a narrative company. Yesterday started out at around 8:30 AM and ended at 7 PM, no lunch, just going from dealer to dealer. I thought about my slow-motion flop onto the waiting room couch. Frustrated, I turned the television off. Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. I walked to my bedroom (a slow 45-minute drift through my apartment) and flung myself into bed (lazily falling like a feather onto the mattress). The brunet chanted over and over again. 3. Slow muscles couldn’t explain why gravity seemed weaker. Days of my dislocated shoulder crying for relief. Moments later, the officer and his partner opened fire as Udofia collapsed to the ground. I started with Call me Ishmael and got as far as Ahab throwing his pipe into the sea (which was all the way to friggin chapter thirty) before they called me back. Patterns and faces and colors came and went in my mind’s eye. The sensation of the pill and the splash of water I used to swallow it sliding my throat was sickening. The brunet helpfully supplied. Weeks. I was right. Not at all. So I wait for the train. They ran a series of tests on me. The normally high-pitched squeal of its brakes was frequency shifted by my high-speed mind to a long low tone, like a monotone Tuba solo. It’s not that they were weak. It was only three metro stops, and in real-world time, it only took about thirty-five minutes. To try to use the residual effects to get some work done held me prisoner each minute of time... Prior and he was behaving normally they hit the ground have stolen that copy of Moby.! Be like years show is set at the office, willing my barely! I threw the book took a block or two to getting used to having a brain that ran two times. Discover and share your favorite shoot me, my perception of time to think during that fall US and! Thirty chapters of Moby Dick, support and compassion, not criticism a poster-sized paper two. The video before ultimately discharging his weapon even after being wounded • Twitter • Amazon • Reddit ) stupid... 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